“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”
C.S Lewis
BALAK
Sukad Nakaila Tika
Sa skwelahan, anad nako nga maagi-agian
kanang magsandig lang sa kilid
o magtambay sa lingkuranan
Kung naa'y kalihokan,
ako na ang tigpakpak, tigpicture or tigkatawa
Wa ko mangandoy nga ang mga mata naa sa akoa
Apan pag alas-singko, nakita tika ug kalit ko nahulog,
unta diay naa ko'y ikapahambog,
nga unta ako to ang naghatag og speech o nidawat sa trophy
o bisan nakacomplete attendance lang sa klase
Niingon ko nga anad nako nga tig-pakpak
Nga di nako pangandoy ang pasidunggan,
kay wa man pud koy talent nga katingalahan
Pero pagka-ugma, sa alas kwatro, nagkasugat napud ta,
ganahan na nuon ko ma-artista
Bahala'g daghan magpatagad sa akong atubangan
Imong paglingi ra gyud akong atngan
Andam ko mukilaw og kalayo,
nga mulakaw ibabaw sa lansang o hilo,
bisan pa og mahimong kataw-anan,
akong presensya imo lang mamatikdan
Dili lalim magsige ra'g damgo
Huwat lang, taga-i ko og panahon
nga makaduol nimu
Kay sukad nakaila tika,
ganahan ko maningkamot
Ipadungog sa imo kining mga paghut sa uyamot
Saksi ang ngitngit nga langit sa akong pagbilar
mahuman lang ning balak - mapraktis ug maplastar
Anad naman pud ko mudawat og 'dili'
pero kung gane inig alas nuybe
muduol ka nga nag-ngisi,
adlaw-adlaw ko magsaulog
sa ganti nga pinaagi sa imong pagtando
Kay sukad nakaila tika, magpaabot ko kung alas syete na
Aron suwayan og litok ang mga pulong nga gipugong-pugong,
apil ang mga ambisyon sa atong kaugmaon nga gipapilit sa bungbong
Dili na nako tas-on ang storya
Kung higugmaon mo gane ako,
ampingan ko ni nga milagro
kay ang sama nako nga walay dungog gidungog
sa maluloy-on nga Ginoo,
Panggaon tika nga naa'y paglihok, pag-atiman ug pangandoy
Wa ko masayud unsa nang orasa,
pero ang gitinguha sukad niadtong hapon sa milabayng mga gahapon
ikaw ug ikaw ra gihapon
Just There
The long hours at night that I spend thinking about how we would look like together have been my favorite past time
On some evenings, I would wonder whether you will like the same movies Im obsessed with
or will you care about the book characters that inspire me to get a PhD
On other occasions, I will imagine us fighting about punctuality,
because I have always hated waiting alone
and I thought of you as someone who’s running late
It’s funny that I don’t even know how you would be in the flesh
or what color are you so fascinated with
For now, we are probably just running around each other
never knowing, never expecting
I have an honest list of the things that I like you to be
Yet, the longer I wait, the more I realized not to include silly stuff like
“You should know Westlife songs.”
My only hope now is that you fear the Lord and deeply love His people
Just this and it wont even matter if you don’t adore my film genres and appreciate my YA books
Just this and I will cheer on you like how I do to all my boygroup biases
Just this and I will pledge my loyalty and never hesitate to submit my life under your authority
Just this and all the love and service I could possibly give will be yours, next to the Lord.
Dearest, I'm here for whatever it is that awaits in our thousands of tomorrows . But for now, I’ll wait patiently until I can see the face of my midnight prayers and wishful thinkings.
COUNT ON LOVE
Count it love when you welcome the day
with sun rays peaking in between the curtains,
When your roommate interrupts your oversleeping,
and patiently informs you that you didn't wake up to the sound of your alarm
Count it love when your sibling brings you meals in your work table
or when they do the laundry and fold your clothes for you
Even the generous driver who gives you a 10-peso discount on your fare
and the kind officemate who offers to send you to the bus terminal
Love overflows in spaces we sometimes do not notice
and yet we measure it by the tangible gifts flaunted in our screens
or the gestures society defines as romantic
No matter how this day looks for you,
I hope you know that love is available for you to receive
Love Himself is ever-present
loving your normalcy and rareness
your depravity and lostness
your "you-ness"
even when there is nothing but selfish grumbling inside
or painful jealousy and stored-up anger in the corners of your heart
Love patiently rescues and will never leave until His work is done
So count on Love and let Him take-over,
nothing else quenches that thirst, heals that wound
and satisfies that longing but Love and Love alone
SHORT STORIES
on the way...
COLLECTIONS
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 1
That I May
When my patience is exhausted
and anger builds within,
remind me of Your forbearing love
the mercy You unceasingly extend
that I may reflect Your kindness
When the hurt is unbearable
and it is hard to forgive
remind me to come to You
that I may lay down my burden
and rest in Your peace
When all I see is the sin of others
and pride hinders grace
remind me of Your holiness
that I may fall on Your feet
and lament for my unworthiness
When my sin is abounding
and the shame is overwhelming
remind me that You love me,
that I may come to Your throne with confidence
because in Christ, I am welcome
Help me not to harden my heart
when I hear Your voice in Your Word
Pierce my soul as You will
and discern the thoughts of my heart
Hold me fast, Jesus, my High Priest
for You know my weaknesses,
and sympathize with them
Teach me to obey
as You did in Your suffering
When all of this is done
and I'll stand in front of You,
I'll remember the pain no longer
Nothing else will matter
The promise of eternity being lived
by a sinner saved by grace
My heart is finally at home
and at home only in You
CHAPTER 2
If Anger Knocks
If anger was poison,
I have been long dead
I have treasured it like my first pet,
the moment I knew of deceit
It shatters the order of my mind
and fuels my mouth
When the home is empty
anger was my foolish friend
telling me about disloyalty
assuring me of nothing good
But if anger was poison,
love
was my antidote.
The remedy that
reached out to me
curing me inside out
love
was healing me
when I didn't know I was rotten
to the core
when I was moving around
with a hollow heart,
Love gave a new breath to my dying soul
So if anger knocks one more time
or if it ceases to be a tamed beast,
I know Love will be there
and Love will never leave
CHAPTER 3
I can't find anything
about you
Like every friend that I have,
having you around
is a default I do not give
much attention to
rare
With or without you, my life seems to be just working fine
Then one day,
I noticed how I wanted time to go fast and slow
Speed up to the weekend and pause there with you
one day, I wanted to send longer messages
because one-liners and gifs do not suffice
what I wanted to say anymore
one day, I woke up from dreaming about you
and did not cringe
or found it weird
I have known you enough to conclude
that we would be a disaster together
you and i just dont see eye to eye
but one day, I just didn’t care about
how messy you eat,
or how annoying you are when you get moody
and how loud you burp in front of people
or fart in front of me
your clumsiness does not bother me as much
nor do your complaints
I learned to laugh at your eye-rolling remarks
that sometimes makes sense
I just thought if it’s really you that I'm ending up with,
I could live with that
especially when I also see you being generous
with the things that I am not
when your room is as organized
as I hoped mine would be ...
or WHEN YOU COOK
BETTER THAN I DO
I cannot promise you anything yet
But I will be here
to listen to your songs
or write them with you
And watch your Marvels even when I tend to get lost in the plot
to laugh with you
or to roll my eyes still
I'll be your friend
like I have always been :)
nganong dili kanunay takdol ang buwan
CHAPTER 4
Aduna'y storya nga sauna, kada gabii takdol ang buwan
Unya Naa'y babaye nga mugawas lang aron mutan-aw niini
Iyang buhok sama kataas sa suba nga nagdagayday sa iyang gibarogan
Mungisi sya atubangan sa kawanangan samtang ang palibot napuno og kangitngit
Ang kahayag lamang gikan sa buwan ang nagpasiga sa iyang nawong
Ang babaye gadala og lahi-lahi nga klase sa bulak -
tanan iyang tinanum ug pinatubo, daw murag halad sa iyang hinigugma
Ang buwan, bisan pa mabulokon ug humot ang mga dala sa dalaga, wala naka-angay sa iyaha
Gani, dili kini mutan-aw sa ubos kay makita niya ang kalawm sa paglaom samtang gapaabot kini nga iyang naugon
Milabay ang pila ka tuig, wala'y undang nga gapaabot ang babaye
ug miabot ang adlaw nga ang buwan nidesider nga munaog ug atubangon siya
Pag-abot sa yuta, mingisi ang buwan ug niiwag iyang kahayag sa tibuok palibot
Apan ang babaye, mura ra og walay nakita
Diay, siya usa ka buta nga nag-inusara sa ngitngit nga suba
ug ang mga buwak, iyang halad ngadto sa iyang kaugalingon
isip panamilit sa iyang kinabuhing magul-anon
Inig sawup sa adlaw, mangandam ang babaye
nga mugawas aron maglumos sa kaugalingon
Ang buwan nga naglantaw sa layo,
nagtuo nga siya ang gipangadoy
Sa iyang kaguol, mibalik siya og saka
ug adunay kausaban sa iyang porma
Sukad niadto, dili na kanunay ang dail
ug sa iyang kapungot ang tubig sa kadagatan
iyang kuyugon sa iyang pag-ilis
Samtang ang babaye nagpabiling gabarog ug gahangad
Nagpaabot kini sa adlaw kung kanus-a siya mupahuway
CHAPTER 5
THE AFTERMATH
The storm came without strong winds and rain. There wasn’t even lightning- no warning.
And although it came silent, somehow, deep inside,
I knew it was going to happen.
I ignored the shake within my inner peace and continued closing my eyes.
The beasts that brought the storm were trying to stay still as they were coloring the room with even more darkness.
To be fair, the beasts didn’t want to hurt me or anyone else.
They wanted to play and they wanted the game for themselves.
I didn’t mind at all because, in fact, I used to enjoy seeing them together but the more I watch them now, the more I see how they are going to hurt each other if I don’t wake them up.
I decided to open my eyes and despite the haze and blackness, I could see how the beasts are enjoying being blinded by each other.
If nothing would sober them up, they will continue to lead each other to the deeper shadows.
I was already holding a flashlight but I was too scared to turn it on. Scared that the beasts would attack me and scared that they would run away from me. I don’t want both to happen.
You would not understand but the beasts were like me. They are a flashing city on a hill but they just needed to be reminded of that. And I was the perfect person at that moment, only I didn’t have perfect courage.
The storm died down but it remained in me.
I lost my chance that night and lost them both.
end.
CHAPTER 6
my heart, my own killer
My heart, a starving beast,
searches passionately for food
yet it is never satisfied.
It is the most unpredictable -
endlessly transforming itself
into whatever it desires to be
Sometimes, my heart
becomes a newborn baby
birthed to crave attention and neglect everyone else.
At times, it is like a rebellious teenager hungry for intimacy,
wanting to be like the girl on the screen
and thirsts for where the fun is
Often, it is a retired old fellow
who is so done with life
and lacks energy for small things.
It also is full of pride
and never listens to counsel
Most of the time,
it is everything all at once
so confusing and complicated
it would take such a patient soul
to master its system
One day, my heart
wanted to leap into thin air
I struggle to pull myself
back to my bed
as its force gravitate me
toward the dark edge
I hated the dim, cold space
that sits across the bridge
in front of our house
- the place where my heart fancies
so I cried begging that we stay inside
but my ruthless heart listens to nobody
I wept myself to sleep and
remembered nothing the next day
It has always been like that -
a perpetual war,
an unceasing struggle
against this tiny and yet vile organ
One evening, a man called me
by my full name,
like we were old pals
but I am quite certain
that I haven't seen him before
That stranger took something out of his pocket
and stretched his hand toward me.
He said that my current heart was killing me
and that he can give me a new one
Without hesitation,
as if it was the most natural thing
to do, I let him do the surgery,
abandoned the old heart
and never looked back
It was a bloody, agonizing process
yet the man promised that I will live longer
than I could ever imagine with this new heart
The next few days,
my new heart is refreshingly calm
but also restlessly longing to see the man again
I never did ... yet
I've lost count of all the days
I was left mystified by how and why he did that
One thing's for sure,
I definitely have to say thank you to that man for saving me
He promised that one day, we will see each other again
and this time, He will give me a new body.